Retreat!

September 17 is the first time — since I can remember anyway — I threw up in a public restroom. Gross, I know, and I’m sorry for sharing. (Blame my poetry class for asking me to be a little more open.) I’m not quite sure what I have or if this is just my body adjusting to my normally crummy life since returning from east Asia last Sunday. Maybe it’s punishment for missing two days of classes due to being in another country and then jet lag, which btw I haven’t totally conquered yet. On Friday, I was late for a 10 am class cuz I finally fell asleep at 7 in the morning. I hope that resolves soon.

I’ve been in bed since getting home, just waiting for my gag reflexes to kick in unexpectedly and force me to lie by the toilet until this is all over. Right now, I am the kind of sick and nauseated that requires you to barf all over the toilet seat to feel better. It’s good and bad. I’m purging all the shit in my stomach but I’m also probably losing more weight on top of all the weight I unintentionally lost since, I don’t know, Easter? My grandma actually told me to stop running and get fat. She says being thinner makes me look older.

I guess you can say I did take her advice cuz I probably ran a total of one day while in the Philippines and abandoned my no fast food rule for the sake of convenience and cuz it was so damn cheap, it was hard to pass up. I mean, pretty much half price for a Big Mac? How do you say no? And the only difference between the burger here and there is that Big Macs in the Philippines are softer. It’s a bearably small difference.

I suppose though I should pick up the rule again — no more fast food for me unless absolutely necessary like in a life or death situation. But, I didn’t have fast food today. Pretty much all I ate today, which was twice, was some pasta my mom cooked. I’m not saying it’s what caused my vomiting marathon, but I thought it was funny when she asked me what I wanted to eat, she listed that very pasta in my options. No, I don’t really want to put back in my stomach what I’ve been throwing up all afternoon and into the evening. I’ve decided not to eat until I think everything’s out of my system.

Sorry for the rambling — or should I say verbal or, more appropriately, written vomit. Doesn’t have the same ring to it, huh. I figured to write all this out is better than just crying in bed, waiting for all this to end. I haven’t cried about being this violently sick in a long time. I haven’t been this violently sick in a long time. At least, I think that’s what I think I’m crying about. Is it normal for people to cry when they’re sick?

I’m getting hungry again. That must be a good sign.

Oh, and another first for me? On August 31/September 1, I had my first sunburn, and my shoulders peeled for the rest of the trip! Another gross thing to add, but now I can say that I saw the sun and lived.

Ok, gotta get back to feeling miserable before I throw up for being so nauseatingly open.